Insanity. Greed. Hatred. When did you lose yourselves?
The world I live in is covered with darkness. No living creature, no trace of humanity. It is sad. No..rather, living in this world makes me sad. It leaves me in despair when I wake up and as I go to sleep. I am alone. I have no one to turn to. I walk along the dark path — blinded by evil. I have been left alone..each and every time. All I did is to love them, so much more than what they deserve; yet they always hurt me and leave my side. And that’s when I learned never to trust again.
So when did i lose myself?
Perhaps, it was when I killed those that I loved. My parents, siblings, friends, fellow men — they paid the price for hurting me. They left me with emotional scars. They betrayed me. They left me with nothing. I have nothing, I am nothing.
Wait.. I think it goes back way before that. I lost myself when I killed myself..with love and happiness. I knew they (love and happiness) won’t last but I still chased them not knowing I’ll be drowning in the insanity that they bring. With happiness, comes sorrow. And with love, comes hatred. Both end up in regret and hurt.
Yes, that is when I killed and lost myself, and eventually, also ending up killing and losing them and the others as well — because only they will understand me when they experienced the suffering and pain that I had felt.
I am trap within the realms of darkness. With eyes closed, I no longer have hopes in seeing even a tiny sliver of light.
This is my answer to those that have questioned me. You made me take the road of hell. You made me what I am today. I will never again believe in the deceptive love and happiness that you always longed for. I longed for them, too, but I ended up with nothing. These hands have been washed with countless lives and blood — both of the innocent and the guilty. I will have justice..I will take it. And as I do so, I will be singing my requiem for you as I write my own history.
(Photo credit: top and bottom photos from deviantart.com)